Tips to Enjoy Better Sex While Pregnant
SEXUAL HEALTH
Connecting With Your Partner While Pregnant
While the idea of having sex while pregnant may seem worrisome or anxiety-producing, here are some useful ideas to keep in mind to set you and your partner at ease for a more wonderful sexual connection.
Alicia Jalowiec M.S. Ed., LVN Nutrition Counselor
Enjoying Sex While Being Pregnant
Let’s discuss some of the ways to practice enjoying sex and relaxation while you or your partner are pregnant.
Full of Energy or In Need of a Nap?
Each pregnant woman is unique and each pregnancy is unique. As your body changes you may feel super energetic and at other times, more tired. There will be days when all you want to do is sleep and rest. This is normal as your body works to grow a new life.
During these times when you have less energy and need more sleep, you may not feel ready or comfortable having sex with a partner or even masturbating on your own. This is ok. This is normal. Trust your body and simply give in to the need for sleep and rest.
As your pregnancy progresses, your desire for sexual pleasure will ebb and flow. It is important to discuss your changing needs and desires with your partner so that they know how to work together with you, so both can achieve a wonderful sexual experience.
On days when you feel more frisky, excited to get naked and play, remember to take the time to describe your feelings and needs with your partner. It may feel strange or awkward, at first, to talk about what feels good or to talk about new positions. But, taking the time to discuss your feelings and needs before your sexual play can only help to make the experience more pleasurable and help you both relax.
Pregnant Body Positions During Sexual Connections
One important consideration for having sex while pregnant is your body position.
As your baby belly grows, many women find it comfortable to have sex lying on their side. This allows both partners to relax while moving slowly or quickly, as little to no pressure is on the baby bump. Many pregnant people enjoy lying in this sideways position with their partner behind them or facing them. The side-lying position is an incredibly sensual position, that provides both partners closeness, where hands and lips are free to caress and touch each other's body.
For the later months of your pregnancy, being on your knees on a soft surface or blanket, with your partner entering you from behind works well for both sexual partners and removes the pressure from the growing belly. This can be a very freeing position for both partners as it allows more energetic movements and expressions without focusing on the baby belly.
Remember to enjoy these days and weeks when you, as a pregnant person, feel more sexual and need this closeness with your partner. While these connections may not happen as often during pregnancy, can be a fulfilling part of a healthy partner relationship.
Your partner may want to be close and sensual with you, but feel a bit anxious about being too jarring or shaking the fetus. Please reassure your partner that the fetus is secure inside the muscles of the uterus and inside a sturdy sac of fluid. The uterus and amniotic sac, both, keep the fetus well-insulated from the typical movements during sex or exercise.
Penetration or No Penetration?
Some pregnant women want sexual contact, closeness and sexual play without the penetration of a finger or penis inside the body. If this is the case for you, think of this as a time to explore other ways to please each other without penetration. Do not feel bad about yourself or feel guilty. Your feelings and desires are valid and should be respected and celebrated. Explain your feelings and needs to your partner. Ask him/her to remember that as your body changes your needs and desires, also, change.
Use this time to explore other avenues of touch to feel pleasure and to get close to your partner. You and your partner might like to try;
Kissing and cuddling with or without clothes
Massage, giving and receiving. Maybe try a couples massage.
Pleasuring one another with your lips and mouths.
Using toys or soft objects on the outside of the body to explore different sensations. Ex; a feather, cornstarch rub, or lotion
To make your closeness and exploration more relaxing, designate a time and an environment where you both feel at ease and comfortable.
It's vital to communicate openly with your partner about any discomfort or limitations you may experience. Both partners will benefit from open compassionate communication. Try to remember that pregnancy is an ever changing process. What feels good today may not feel as comfortable or pleasurable tomorrow or next week. Both partners communicating their needs and desires is essential to having a wonderful sexual experience.
If you want to experience penetration during your sexual exploration and you feel uneasy about this or worried about how this will affect the fetus/baby, please discuss your concerns with your healthcare provider and read our article, Is It Safe To Have Sex While Pregnant, here, for more information about what the experts recommend.
Finally, please remember to be kind and patient with yourself and your partner. Every pregnancy is different, and what works for one couple may not work for another. Trusting your instincts and maintaining open lines of communication with both your partner and healthcare provider will help ensure a safe and enjoyable sexual experience during this special time in your life.
Male and female partners must also take the time to communicate and respond with compassion to their pregnant partner’s needs. Pregnancy is a temporary state. Everyday your pregnant partner’s body is changing. This can bring anxiety and may bring some fear for both partners. Remember to communicate your feelings and needs, to be kind, be patient, and be willing to make adjustments and show compassion to one another.
Take Aways
Communication is the key to joyful pleasure. This is especially important to remember for having sex while pregnant, as your body is changing so rapidly. Create space outside of your sexual fun to talk and express your needs and desires.
Compassion for both the pregnant person and their partner is vital. Remember to be kind and caring with one another during this time. Creating a new life is both exciting and can induce some anxiety in both partners. Practice being kind to yourself and your partner, especially during sexual connections.
Embrace Making Adjustments. As your pregnant body changes, your needs and desires change, as well. Be willing to honor your own needs and express these needs to your partner. When you are tired, rest. When you have more energy and desire closeness, share these feelings with your partner. Remind yourself and your partner that making adjustments with the frequency of your sexual connections and in your sex positions is a necessary part of pregnancy.
Explore new ways to connect with your partner. When you or your partner feel less willing to connect through sex, explore other ways to connect, like cuddling, kissing, bathing together, swimming, or massage.
Embrace your changing body and your new relationship with your body and your partner. Be patient and kind with one another and enjoy the fun of this new time.